The Day I Sang in Class

If you know me well enough, you will know that I hate singing.

I can’t carry a tune to save my life (You should have seen the aural portion of my past piano practicals.. It’s like watching defenceless antelopes get mauled by hungry lions. V.painful to watch).

The fact that I have only sung KTV twice in my life should tell you how much I like singing.

But on Thursday, I sang in class.

It was for my French Literature module. It was drama week, and my group was supposed to act out a french tragedy. But we made changes to it & turned it into a musical instead.

Zaixiang was brilliant. He sings like Jason Mraz. After each turn, the class would clap and cheer for him, while mine attracted grins and smiles.

After the second exchange, I put my hands on my waists in mock anger & said “How come you guys only clap for him?” And the class started laughing & from there on, our french tragedy became a hilarious musical.

I got my sympathetic wild applause (sigh, so fake) & Prof Isabelle gave us full marks (5/5) for our play, of which 4.9 is probably for ZX’s lovely singing and 0.1 for my blind & misguided courage to sing in public.

The black faces of Mir & Carol after I cajoled & insisted that we queue & eat Sakae Sushi instead of Mos Burger.

This is called the “Test of Friendship”, & you girls barely passed.

I lost all my matches. Evidently, God wasn’t on my team, & I spelled the name of my church wrongly.

All Sizzle and No Sausage (Part II)

I guess I expected too much.

In my mind, the Ogilvy lady would start off the presentation by clapping her hands, and the lights would dim. A pompous THX-surround-sound-like introductory music would then blast in the background, with the powerpoint flashing the word “Ogilvy”, the word spinning around according, doing backflips, frontflips, sideflips… And then a low powerful cinematic voice would then finally announce: “THIS. IS. OGILVY.”

But of course it wasn’t like that. Far from it.

The presentation wasn’t THAT bad. Except that one question during the Q&A which kinda left me with a sour taste in the mouth.

“How often does Ogilvy conduct recruitment drives or hire fresh graduates?”

The 2 seconds of hesitation from her was painfully obvious.

“Well… We don’t really have a recruitment period… We.. erhm.. hire from time to time…. when’s there’s an opening.”

Sigh.

The Barclays, Citibanks, Deutsche Banks are like literally begging you to join them in their posh offices, throwing you hooks that contain Mount Blanc-like pens, diaries and oysters/prawn buffets (I’m such a sucker for these things)… And here I am sitting in a relatively small meeting room with Jac and Mir, trying to learn more about an industry that doesn’t really want you, who’s not going to pay you much, who’s not even going to pay you overtime although you will do overtime every time…

It’s almost abit sadomasochistic for people in the room to still want to work in an ad agency.

It’s illogical.

***

http://www.ffk-wilkinson.com/

Watch the trailer in this interactive website for Wilkinson razor blades. Super duper hilarious. A really smart and innovative way to market these products!

Why are my friends so happening?

The pictures are freaking hilarious! hahahaha.. I think you had a great birthday Mash!

Lesson learnt: You should never let David “Tutera” Wang plan any party for you. Not even your kid’s 10yr old birthday. Cos he will put cannabis in the cake and everyone will be smoking weed.

And there will be prostitutes mingling with your kid’s confused classmates.

(David, Kenny, Pierre, Shengjie, Lilly)

Ben + Jerry

I totally dig the restaurants and bars at Dempsey Road! Very chill and laid back. It exudes a certain kind of charm that makes you feel instantaneously cool just by being there.

We are yuppies wannabes i guess. lol.

Parking was a major bitch though.

This will be a happy blog.

Do not pass “Go”

She talked to me on MSN an hour ago.

I think she’s homesick. She said she missed talking to me, sad that things between us became so awkward and that I’m being cold towards her.

Sigh.

I wanted to tell her that the problem wasn’t with her, but with me.

She has moved on. The world has moved on. But I’m still lagging behind.

Hence I kept silent, replying with a “I’ve been busy.” (brilliant kenny, brilliant.)

I’m sure that’s not what she wanted to hear… but hmm…

Sigh.

Lesson learnt: Never ever let someone become a priority in your life. Never. Cos it’s going to hurt alot when things doesn’t work out and you realize that you are just an option in hers.

No happy ending.

Sigh.

****
Anyway, Ang Siang Hill is a really great chill out place. People, we should hang out there more often yeah.

Lady in Red

How do you know when 2 people are absolutely right for each other?

It’s not like there’s a litmus test, where you can drip dye on her and she will turn red if she’s the one.

Dull blog needs pictures.

Today is a new day.

Last week was a complete mess. Went to school, saw unfamiliar faces, all happy faces, all laughing and chatting animatedly with one another at the gantry. (The Straits Times was probably right, SMU students are the happiest undergraduates in Singapore.)

I felt uncomfortable and terribly out of place. And I was thinking of what the professors would do during the first week of class. Probably make everyone introduce themselves and tell the class how their summers were. And I can so imagine myself sitting there, shaking my head and thinking “Where shall I even begin”.

And so I put on Harry Potter’s Cloak of Invisibility, sneaked back to the carpark, and drove home before the professor even step foot into class. And then there was grandpa’s death, which i volunteered to help out for the rest of the week.

But at least it’s a new week. Today is a new day.

It’s not a bad day. Nor is it particularly good. But I feel better. Went to school (finally), watched Hairspray (it’s brilliant), played pool, ate supper. There’s actually quite abit of homework and readings to be done. But i choose to be oblivious to them, till they evolve into fire-breathing, dual-headed dragons and make life a living hell for me.

(Random pics from the past 2 months… Most of these people are part of K.P.S.G. (Kenny’s Peer Support Group). They are in charge of keeping me company, drinking with me, eating with me, watching movies with me, playing board games with me, clubbing with me, sending me daily smses & chatting with me. )

***
I think death unites a family. The past one week spent folding ghost money, eating peanuts, keeping vigil at night, chatting with relatives, knowing them better. My aunts were telling me stories of Grandpa, like how much he loved Grandma. And when she died some 20+ years ago, he was sobbing for months, which I found hard to visualize.

After all, all this while, my impression of him was that of a typical china man. Strong, very tanned, stern, built like an ox, like he pulls rick shaws with his teeth for relaxation. And as I heard more stories, I grew to respect and miss Grandpa even more.

I really hope Grandpa’s in a much better place.

Seriously…

My grandpa, the only grandparent who ever saw me grow up, passed away today.

Sigh. My life is really fucked up.

Two months ago, life was so good. I really don’t know what went wrong.

I went from boyfriend to cumbersome chewing gum stuck on her shoe. School started and I don’t want to bump into him. I’m a first-class bag-over-the-head loser.

And then mum called to tell me grandpa’s dead.

Seriously, my life script is somehow rewritten into some fucking disaster flick.

It’s absolutely fucked up. It’s like someone’s trying to see how much suffering I can possibly take. I get stabbed over and over again, knife twisted, week after week… I know God won’t let me suffer more than I can handle.. but seriously, I don’t how much more I can take.

Just stab me once, make it good, make it deep, & hope I make it through.

And whoever said “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?”

Seriously, it’s either they have never truly loved, or they have never truly lost.

***
I’m so sorry grandpa. I was supposed to visit you a couple of weeks back… But I was lazy, I overslept. I was feeling lousy. I didn’t fetch mum to see you. I was fucked up. I’m so fucked up. And I’m feeling so guilty right now.

Argh. It’s really crash and burn.

S.U.M.O

Recently at supper, Miranda asked how I got over Lilin & move on with life.

It was a question which caught me off guard, mainly because I thought I was being suicidal enough already. I wished I could say that my feelings and memories of her have been forgotten, over and done with, nailed into a sarcophagus so deep in my mind and heart that no gung-ho Indiana-Jones-wannabe archaeologist will ever find… never to raise from the dead again.

Truth is, I still think of her from time to time, like when I’m driving alone in the mornings, when I hear songs like JT’s “What Goes Around” and Nelly’s “Over and Over” (3 times in a week for such an old song?) on the radio, hearing Jay Chou’s An Jing from some distant colleague’s computer, times like these that make me lose my grip and fall back into the bottom of the well.

But the good news is, while there are still such bad days, there has been many many good days as well. Days spent with good friends, meeting new people, playing soccer, board games at Mind Cafe, receiving Spartan-email from Damien in China, going Church etc.

Slowly but surely, I am picking up the pieces and getting both my feet back on the ground. =)

Friends have been great so far. They were good enough to point out the facts with impunity sans malice. While mere acquaintances find extenuating reasons to explain the break up, the good friends cared enough to tell me bluntly that she doesn’t want to be with me any more.

And also thanks to dumbass friends like Pierre and Shengjie, who stupidly (but amusingly) tried to matchmake me with some rocker chick from NTU, creeping up to me and whispering into my ear that “She likes quiet guys” (wth) and “Both of you all hit it off very well eh. Common interests. Heh heh. You want her number or MSN?” (double wth)

***
The hot and funky XM Interns

After three months, internship at XM is coming to a close. These are the people (sans Huisuan, who’s holidaying in Perth) that made work bearable and even fun sometimes. As Siqing said, its a “love-hate” relationship, which I can’t agree more.

The girls love each other. And they hate me. LOL.

First nice picture on this blog

I made a little discovery today!

Right smack beside Seah Street Deli is this newly opened Raffles Creamery, an ice cream store with a cold marble, teppanyaki-styled preparation method.

It reminds me a lot of Cold Stone Creamery, except that I thought this actually taste better. The service was very good, there was no queue, and the price was really very reasonable.

It cost $5.90 for a single scoop with 2 condiments. I chose Macadamia with chocolate chips and marsh mellows.

Damn nice! And stupid Siqing (Intern 2 of XM Asia) kop 1/4 of my divine ice-cream. arghh…

Update: Caroline just told me that Raffles Creamery has been open for months. Hmm, sigh…Have all of you guys been going there regularly for awesome ice cream without me for the past few months?

Basket.

My Muse

I think subconsciously, Lilin has been my muse for the past 3 years.

Whenever I get stuck with some creative projects, I will always relax, chat and hang out with her. Her laughter and presence is somehow soothing to my soul, funnily inspiring even.

Her involvement in my life somehow helps me to start firing on all cylinders. Some athletes like Michael Jordan call this period “the Zone”, Dota players call this period “GOD-LIKE!”, while I call these times the “Brief Moments in Life when Kenny Doesn’t Suck.”

My best individual project in SMU is the one which I did for the Creative Thinking module. The assignment was to do anything to showcase 5 creative things/events/people etc.

Any form of medium was accepted and with SMU being the competitive environment that it is, the students came up with all sorts of projects. Most thought out of the box, creating clay models, charts, videos… while I came up with a measly diary. I put myself into the shoes of someone writing a diary at different stages of his life. From being 5, 20, 25, 40, to 80 years old, I wrote entries detailing things which I found creative at those ages and to connect all of it, was a love story that was based a lot on Li Lin.

And I still remember D, the summa cum laude dean lister in SMU, looking down on my project when she saw my assignment in the form of 10 sheets of paper stapled together, while she herself came up with some elaborate structure.

Guess what? I was one of the only 2 students to get an A+.

***

Sigh

My curiosity and stupid spidey sense have gotten me into a lot of trouble. I saw a lot of stuff that broke my heart.

And I guess the loss of my muse is now very much permanent. It’s extra painful because I didn’t just lose a girlfriend, I lost a best friend and a soul mate as well.

I’m not sure if we are friends anymore.

Life’s suddenly very meaningless & empty. Nobody who will call you, nobody to wake you up in the morning, nobody to cuddle with, nobody to shower with love… That emptiness sucks.

These days I have been really depressed. Been drinking alot, did miscellaneous stupid things, momentary reliefs that didn’t bring any satisfaction, except reminding yourself how lonely & pathetic you are.

I haven’t told the JC guys yet though. Don’t know how to break it to them. Everyone thinks we are such a steady couple ( a tag which I hated because we are all still so young & its like we have to live to people’s expectations), and also our friendship seems to be based alot on harmless frat boys fun. Playing soccer, dota, poker, endless teasing of one another, its fun time which I hate to interrupt with a sad story you know.. And I can imagine an inevitable awkward silence if I were to tell them about the break up now.

I mean, what are they supposed to say?

Bad

Cornelius asked how I was doing on Facebook yesterday. I told him I was doing fine.

But deep down, I know I’m coping really badly now. I have given my all in this relationship for the past 2 yrs plus and it all came to such an abrupt end- Love gone to waste.

It’s a like a texas-holdem poker match. You have a Ace full house, you are confident about winning, you go all-in with what you have, convinced that everything, including God and lady luck, were on your side.

And it’s show hand and you lost. You lost big. You lost everything.

First, there’s disbelief. Followed by denial. Then you are start tracing back the steps, trying to figure out what went wrong. Did she show any signs that she had a better suit? That you would lose?

And then there’s silence & resignation.

The realization that everything is real and the loss is permanent.

***

I met her yesterday afternoon for the first time since she wrote a letter telling me to let her go.

I wanted a good talk with her. To ask her what’s going on, where I stand in her life, whether if there’s another man, whether if she has given up on our relationship, whether we could try to work it out again… There were so many questions that I wanted to ask her.

But when I saw her face and she smiled, my heart melted.

It was like old times. I drove her to Samy’s Curry at Dempsey Road for lunch. It started to rain. We shared an umbrella. She clinged on to my arm. I was cracking jokes, she was laughing. I was slapping her head, she was pouting.

I couldn’t bring myself to spoil the moment. It felt so good. Too good. Felt like everything was normal again.

It was happy times again.

When I went back to work later in the afternoon, I was really productive & the creative juices started coming in again. Came up with a marketing proposal within an hour, with viral campaigns, marketing channels, phases… My boss was uber impressed, and it seems most of the concepts will be going straight to the creative team for refinements.

Later at night, I hanged out with the VJ gang. Played dota, had supper. I wanted to stay out as late as possible.

Went home at three.

Then the stark realization that I was all alone hit me again.

I’m not doing fine.

Love

There’s a million of things that I want to say to you and I don’t know where to begin. I remember you once wrote me a letter and you quoted something from Runaway Bride.

You said that the road ahead will be difficult and that there will be times when one or both of us will want out of the relationship. You told me to do you a favor then. That if that ever happens and you lose your way, you wanted me to hold on to you tight, and to remind you how much you love me, how you feel so comfortable in my arms and how you want to spend the rest of your life with me.

I know you told me to let you go. And that you did not want to kill me anymore. But it is killing me sit here and do nothing and watch you walk out of my life.

All my life I have been as meek as a mouse. I was the boy who did not dare to stand up against the class bully. I was the boy who was scared of a rooster standing outside his house. And I was the boy who was petrified of speaking up in class.

But I know that I will live the rest of my life with regrets if I do not try to salvage this wonderful and magical relationship and try to make it work.

I love you baby.

It’s not like we are driving each other crazy, have irreconcilable differences or quarrel and fight all the time. We still have such strong feelings for one another. You have your demons, but I just want to let you know that I want to help you get out of this shit.

I want to help you carry your burdens. I want to be your rock, provide you with a shoulder to lean or cry on, to be the one to carry you up the Grand Canyon when you faint, to be the one who buys you McMuffin with egg, Old Chang Kee nuggets (and bubble tea that you never ever wanted) for breakfast while you are sound asleep.

I never did tell you this. But that one day in Hawaii, when I enthusiastically paddled too far out into the sea, and as the currents were pushing me further away from shore, it wasn’t the fear of drowning and dying that confronted me.

It was the fear of not being with you anymore. I didn’t want to leave you stranded in Honolulu or in this life. As I held on tight to my boogie board, I was frantically searching for you. And when I saw the tiny you lazing in the sun, I started to paddle furiously and frantically, with each determined stroke to get back closer to you.

And I feel like I’m in the same position again, except that the waters are even choppier and I’m further away from shore than I ever was.

But nothing’s changed. I don’t care how tiring and raining it will be, it doesn’t matter how long it will take, it doesn’t matter how ridiculous or pathetic that I will look. I will still fight the currents and continue paddling towards with that same steadfast determination.

Till the day I make it back into your heart…

Law of Simplicity – A True Story

At the height of the space race in the 1960s, NASA scientists were perplexed by a problem their astronauts faced in the recording of data and experiences while in orbit.

The problem was that they were unable to write anything down, because they could not get a pen to work at zero gravity. To crack this difficult scenario, NASA embarked on an expensive R&D program. Some time and a few million dollars later, they proudly presented their “astronaut pen,” which immediately went into service.

Happy astronauts were able to record data to their hearts’ content and commit their most profound thoughts to paper. This astronaut pen also achieved some success as a novelty item, sold at great expense to earthlings as a genuine NASA souvenir.

Meanwhile, the Soviet space agency had solved its own pens-not-working-at-zero-gravity problem.

They used pencils.

Web 2.0

I still harbour aspirations to join an creative agency (because I still believe in the romance of pen & paper) but as the weeks go by in this internship, I’m starting to see the growing importance and shift towards online marketing.

The world is embracing a new era – Web 2.0, a term coined by Tim O’Reilly to describe the next generation of Web-based services. It simply refers to how the commercial web has evolved from hosting companies whose sole purpose was to trade cheap & fast goods for cash, to service-oriented companies offering products such as social networking sites like YouTube, Facebook & Second Life.

And this new market is gargantuan. More than 40 million people saw the video The Evolution of Dance on YouTube; bloggers like XiaXue & Mr Brown can make a decent living with their sponsored blogs; & a previously little-known band OK Go made it straight to the top of the singles chart with a homemade YouTube video.

The future is digitalization.

Some Microsoft guys came over to the office to have a workshop yesterday, talked about new trends in the internet industry, how Vista & some other programs like Silverlight can host advertising. It was a great presentation & I learned that Microsoft Vista is essentially an advertising haven! There’s so many ways that you can build a company’s brand or place ads on this platform.

Anyway, this great video below sums up nicely what Web 2.0 is all about.

Print ads still rule today but I think the tipping point towards online advertising will come really soon. And when that day arrives, it will blaze down competition like how digital music kicked Music CDs’ ass.

Whatever

The only reason why I even took notice of these print posters was that my girlfriend’s birthday happened to be on May 18.

I was fetching her home from SJ’s place when I caught sight of the “May 18″ poster at the bus-stop and we stopped to feed our curiosities. Unfortunately, nothing was given away about what the products were about until the launch-date itself.

As it turned out, Whatever and Anything are new beverages that are developed by Out of the Box Pte Ltd (OOTB), a former golf media company, which strangely decided to start making beverages instead.

What fascinates me is that their marketing strategy is so Marketing 101, so formulaic and detailed, exactly like how SMU students would propose in their marketing projects.

Firstly, they differentiated their products. In this case, OOTB’s unique selling proposition is the randomness of the flavor of the drink. An “Anything” can contains a random carbonated flavor (rootbeer, cola, lemon-cola etc) while “Whatever” contains a random non-carbonated flavor.

Secondly, they created teaser ads to generate hype and buzz, followed by a full-scaled marketing blitz on all fronts (TV, radio, print, internet, outdoor). From what I read, they bought advertising space on more than 450 bus stops, undoubtly inducing heart-pains on their accountants.

All these are very typical of SMU projects except that we are naturally very risk-taking since we are graded mainly on creativity rather than what-happens-if-it-fails.

As much as I like their marketing approach, I think they are spending way too much on advertising & there’s too much risks involved.

And like how onlookers are attracted to the poker table when James Bond went “all in” in Casino Royale, it will be interesting to see how these drinks fare in the near future, although I must say that the future still looks bleak for them against the incumbents such as Coca-Cola & Yeos.

But oh well, whatever.

GPS Tracking Technology

Interning at an interactive agency, I get exposed to a lot of new technologies daily. And the most impressive of the lot that I have come across is this new mobile phone tracking system developed by SunSat Satellite Solutions Co, which, in my opinion, will definitely take the world by storm in the very near future.

Relying on repeater triangulation, this application can pinpoint the location of the phone, irregardless of the service provider or location.

Think about it, the possible benefits that this technology can bring to us is gargantuan. Missing/stolen phones will be a thing of the past and we can pinpoint the locations of our loved ones with reasonable accuracy.

And best of all, this technology is free (for now).

http://www.sat-gps-locate.com/english/index.html

Enjoy! *grinz*

Internship

Things that I like about XM

1) There’s happy hour every Friday. There will be pints of Heineken & catered food and everyone will gather at the pantry to interact with one another.

2) We have a living room in the middle of the office where there are sofas and couches, and get this, an X-Box 360!!! Definitely a great way to increase productivity! haha.

3) Dress Code: Cool & Funky. (No more G2000 & Raoul)

4) Relaxing. We stroll into office at 9.30am, have 2 hours lunches. Nuff said.

5) We get invitations to parties and contests. A fellow intern & I took part in the Nokia Wireless Adventure trial race (a la Amazing Race) and guess what? We WON!! We beat a few other agencies and Nokia staff to win the inaugural Nokia Wireless Adventure (trial) race. (Therefore, we’re now technically “award-winning” interns =P)

6) The people here are very chill. MSN is the mode of communication in the office.

Things that I NOT like about XM:

1) Lack of rules. Everyone seems pretty laid-back & occasionally slack. Not exactly very driven. Not enough passion in the office.

2) My senior (or mentor) doesn’t give me much work to do. Bleaugh. Enthusiasm for the job is not as strong as before & I end up watching Heroes & The Office on the internet (http://www.tv-links.co.uk)

3) My email address is Intern4_XM@xm-asia.com. It’s such a reality check.

4) The pay sucks. $550 per month. I can do better.